Once upon a time, an enterprising young FoLC called Tara Smith (aka Starkitty) started a new thread on Zoom’s messageboards. It was in the form of a challenge to authors using the mbs and was based on a very simple premise: take one of your stories and write a condensed version of it. The idea was a hit and these soon became known as Readers’ Digest Condensed Versions or RDs for short. Below you can find some of the results. 😉
Before checking out the RDs, please remember that there is a chance that you may find some plot spoilers for the original story in there somewhere. [g] If you don’t want to risk it, read the full version first! These are available on the Fanfic Archive, here at the Nfic Archive, or on Zoom’s mbs. Check out the Gfic Index for the messageboards at for direct links to various story parts
Black Circle
The Black Circle:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Tara Smith (aka Starkitty)
Maggie/Sara: Ew! There’s an evil cult in town sacrificing people for magic to raise their evil lord, Dahak!
Lois: Oh, no! They’ve cast a spell on Clark to make him obey them!
Tank: Hi! I’m part of the cult but I don’t like them, so I’ll help you!
Maggie/Sara: Okay! Let me borrow your phone!
FBI Special Agent Cindy Reed: The only way to stop the cult is to blow up Centennial Park while they’re there.
Lois: Will the fountain be okay?
Reed: Probably.
Lois: Okay, let’s do it!
***Boom!***
Lois: Well, the park is leveled, the fountain is demolished and the cultists are all dead. Problem solved. Let’s go home and neck, Clark.”
Clark: Okay.
Tank: Go out with me, Sara?
Maggie/Sara: Sorry, I’ve already got a boyfriend. Goodbye.
The End
Blind Leading the Blind
Blind Leading the Blind… :
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Pam Jernigan
“Superman, I’m sorry the bad guys blinded you; you’ll have to stay at my place.”
“Okay, thanks Lois. Gee, it’s a shame Clark’s in the mountains with Mayson, isn’t it?”
During the night, Clark talks in his sleep.
Lois gasped. “Superman is Clark?? Wait til he wakes up… oh, hi, Martha, I wasn’t expecting you.”
“No, but Clark was — where is he?”
“Right over there.”
“But that’s Superman!”
“Well, duh!”
“Oh! So you know. Cool.”
Later, Clark wakes up and can see again.
“Hello Superman, I mean Clark … ready to take me on a date?”
The end.
Caped Fear Tank Ending
Caped Fear:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Tank Ending
By LabRat
Clark: Lois! Don’t drink that water!
Clark: Sigh.
Clark: Lois! Don’t jump off that bridge!
Clark: Sigh.
Clark: She *never* listens…
The End.
Caped Fear
Caped Fear:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By LabRat
Clark: Lois! Don’t drink that water!
Clark: Lois! Don’t jump off that bridge!
Clark: Phew.
(Sorry.)
Circle Game
The Circle Game:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Judith Williams (aka Jude)
Lois: Clark, we have a perfect life.
Clark: Yes. We do. And you know what that means.
Lois: Oh, no. Not again.
Clark: Now Lois, you know the FOLC rules.
Lois: Yes. (Sigh) One of us has to do something really dumb to break us up and make us both miserable. Whose turn is it?
Clark: I think it’s mine. Good-bye. I’m leaving you forever, or at least until the readers can’t stand it any more.
Lois: Okay, but don’t expect me to take you back right away.
Clark: Lois, I’m back.
Lois: I have to think about it. (Long Pause) Okay, I thought about it.
The End
Dagger of the Mind
Dagger of the Mind, the short, short version:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Nan Smith
Clark: I keep getting interrupted when I try to talk to Lois, so I’ll write her a letter instead.
(He writes the letter but gets interrupted halfway through.)
Clark: Oh no! A cargo ship is burning in the harbor!
(He flies off; the ship explodes.)
Superman: I can’t remember anything!
Lois: Clark and I will help you to remember. (Finds letter) Oh, no! Clark has committed suicide!
(Later:)
Lois: This warehouse might have something to do with the exploding ship.
Superman: I’m remembering things! I can see through the crates! They’re smuggling drugs!
(Later, at Police headquarters:) I’m Clark Kent. Superman saved me.
Lois: Oh thank heavens, you’re alive, Clark. You can explain everything tomorrow!
The end
Fate Worse Than Death
A Fate Worse Than Death:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Pam Jernigan
“I’m going to kill Clark or Superman, Lois, and you get to choose!”
“You can’t kill Clark!”
“Okay, then, I’ll kill Superman, thanks for the help!”
“Noooo!”
*
“Clark, get away from me, I never want to see you again.”
“Lois, it’s okay, he didn’t really kill Superman — I’m Superman. Or at least I was before that gold Kryptonite…”
“Oh, Clark … I’m sorry.”
“S’okay. So, you wanna get married?”
*
“Hey, whaddya know, my powers are back!”
“Cool.”
The End
Final Forgiveness
Final Forgiveness:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By AliciaU
Sam: I’m dying, Lois, please forgive me.
Lois: Okay.
Sam: I’m dying, Ellen, please forgive me.
Ellen: No.
Lucy: I hate my father, I will never forgive him!
Sam: Pretty please, Ellen.
Ellen: Okay.
(Sam lies on his deathbed, surrounded by Ellen, Clark and Lois.)
Lois: Please come and see Daddy before he dies.
Lucy: Okay.
Sam: I love you, Lucy.
Lucy: I love you too, dad.
(Sam dies, and they all live happily ever after.)
Future Not Now
A Future Not Now:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Tank Wilson
AltLois Lane looked about the Hyperion Avenue brownstone. “Nice place.”
“Thanks,” said a weary Clark Kent. “Sorry AltClark was killed by that New Kryptonian invasion of your world.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry your wife, Lois, was killed there too.” AltLois sighed. “What now.”
Clark shrugged. “Sequels, I guess.”
Future Restored
A Future Restored:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version.
By Tank Wilson
Clark: Hey, Lois, now that we are divorced I suppose I should try to be nicer to you.
Lois: That would be okay, but I don’t want any charity, except enough to buy a Porsche.
Lana: Hi, Clarkie.
Dan: Hi, Lois.
Lois: Who are they?
Clark: Impediments to our building a relationship.
Clark: Jimmy’s missing!
Lois: I wouldn’t worry too much, we’ll probably find him eventually but he’ll have been beaten badly.
Lois: Lucy, Dan, and Lana are missing! Oh yeah, Ralph’s dead also.
Clark: That’s disturbing news about Lucy, Dan, and Lana. I’ll go look for them.
Lois: Okay, I’ll go wait for whoever took them to kidnap me also.
Dark: Yes, I have all of you captured and with these ancient Kryptonian devices I can control Superman and suck the life out of all of you all and gain Superman’s powers which should rightfully be mine.
(Lois hits Dark in the eye with her shoe.)
Dark: Ouch!
(He drops device and is captured by Superman.)
Clark: I want to thank you for the fast thinking that saved all our lives back there, Lois.
Lois: You’re welcome, let’s neck.
Lucy: Gosh, it’s great to see them together. Wait, you there, skulking in the shadows, aren’t you H.G. Wells?
Wells: Yes, quite.
Lucy: Why are you here?
Wells: Handy plot device to explain away seeming inconsistencies with continuity.
Lucy: Cool!
fin
Tank (who is now officially through with the Future)
Future Revised
A Future Revised:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version.
By Tank Wilson
Clark: Gosh, Sam Lane is dead.
Lois: Too bad, I guess that means that since I’m now impersonating your wife, Lucy will want to stay with us.
Lucy: Hi, hey, Clark is Superman, and you are merely an other-dimensional double for my sister who is dead! Major bummer.
“Memo to self.”
Lois: What was that?
Clark: Just some lame, third rate villain trying to make a comeback by targeting you and your loved ones.
“BANG”
Lois: Oh my gosh, Lucy’s been shot.
(Later at the hospital)
Clark: Where’s Lois?
Lucy: She went chasing off after a holographic image of you.
Clark: I guess I better rescue her.
Lois: Thanks for the rescue.
Clark: You’re welcome. We work pretty well together.
Lois: I want a divorce.
fin
Tank (who asks if he left anything out)
Greater Good
For The Greater Good – The Short, Short Version …
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Wendy Richards
Lois: “What’s wrong, Clark?”
Clark: “There’s a piece of exploded planet heading towards the Earth and it’s going to kill everyone unless I fly out and smash it, and it’s from Krypton, so I’m going to die if I do it.”
Lois: “Oh no!”
Clark: “Goodbye, Lois! I love you!”
Lois: “I love you too, Clark!”
– Clark flies off into space.
————
One Week Later…
Lois: “Clark, you’re alive!”
Clark: “I seem to be… I wonder why?”
Lois: “Never mind, let’s go to bed!”
– The End –
Just Like That
Just Like That:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Pam Jernigan
“Hey, wait a minute … I’m not Wanda, I’m Lois!”
“Clark, you have to believe me, I’m Lois!”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am … oh well, I’ll go for a walk. See ya later.”
Lex: “Come with me or else.”
Lois: “What are you going to do, shoot me? What a moron.”
Superman saves the day. Lex gets hit by a bus.
“C’mon Lois, let’s go home.”
The End *g*
Maggie
Maggie:
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Tara Smith aka Starkitty
Maggie: Oh no! Someone’s planning to kill Superman! I’ll have to warn him, but first I’ll save Lois’ life!
Lois: Thanks for saving my life. My partner’s out of town, you wanna help me with my investigation?
Maggie: Sure! Hey, Jimmy’s cute!
Lois: Oh, look! Important evidence. Let’s throw ourselves into death’s jaws to get more conclusive evidence!
Superman: Where’s Lois?
Maggie: The bad guys have them!
Superman: Thanks! (whoosh!)
Maggie: I’ll save him! Ouch, bullets hurt! Jimmy you have beautiful eyes! Let’s go on a date!
The End
Mirror Crack’d
“The Mirror Crack’d”
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Hazel
Lois: Oh, Clark gets me so mad sometimes! Why does he keep running away from me? I’m going for a walk.
Tempus: Duh, Lois! Get in the dimension-hopping machine!
Lois to alt-Clark: Clark, I need you to help me find Superman. Why are you panicking like that?
(Lois is blindfolded on a ledge)
Lois: Stupendous Man, or whatever call yourself! HELP!
(alt-Clark saves her)
Lois: Oh, you’re Superman! I understand my Clark now!
alt-Clark: Well, Tempus exposed me before the world and I can’t convince you to love me, so I guess I’ll send you back to your Clark.
Lois to her Superman: Clark, hold me, please!
Misconception
The (Mis)conception
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Filex
Clark: “Who are you?”
Lois2: “I’m from the alternate universe. I need to have your baby in order to establish Utopia.”
Lois: “We need to think about it.”
* * * * * * * *
Clark: “Who are you?”
Lois2: “I’m the real Lois2! The fake one kidnapped me and I think she’s after your Lois!”
* * * * * * * *
Clark: (groaning because of the Kryptonite) “Who… are… you?”
Fake Lois2/Double: “Okay, I’m really the double. I’m going to have some fun with you while your wife watches.”
Lois2: (flies in) “Don’t worry, I’ll save you!”
* * * * * * * *
Clark: “Who are you?”
Lois: (wearing Ultrawoman costume) “It’s really me, honey! I’m here to fulfil your Ultrawoman fantasy.”
Clark: “Help, Ultrawoman!”
The End
S6 Finale
S6 Finale (In 3 parts: Labyrinth, Preparations and Stronger Than Me Alone):
Reader’s Digest Condensed Version
By Phil Atcliffe (aka Tarkas)
Part 1 (Labyrinth):
Lois: Lex gave me some hair in this locket. Now we can prove he’s not a clone!
Alex: I’m gonna get you, Lexy-boy, and your company, and your little dog, too!
Clark: That’s quite a right hook you got there, honey.
Part 2 (Preparations):
Luthor: Bankrupt! It must be Kent’s fault! I’ll kill him!
Part 3 (Stronger Than Me Alone):
Luthor: Die, Kent!
Superman: Ouch!
***
Superman: This weird-looking globe is going to destroy half of Metropolis, and I can’t stop it!
Lois: Yes, you can — all you need is one of my special hugs. See, I told you it would work.
***
Luthor: Your powers are gone, Kent. Now I’ll kill you!
Clark: What with? That overgrown toothpick that I just cut in half?
Alex: Don’t kill him! Let me do it with my special DNA-destroying grenade after I blow his head off! Then I’ll join
Jaxon in the virtual world. ‘Bye…
BANG!
—
(Geez, and I spent weeks writing the full-length stories… )